Helping Teenagers Strive for Purity

Here is an excerpt from Parentlink's 2009 February Newsletter concerning purity.

Help Teenagers Strive for Moral Purity

Thanks to pop singers, purity rings have become a hot trend. Many young people are publicly announcing their intentions to abstain from sex until marriage. For some kids, these rings mean even more. About his purity ring, Syracuse University freshman Stephen Chang says, “It also means that I won’t drink, smoke, or date until I know I’m ready to date for marriage. It’s a symbol of me saying that I want to live a life that’s more pleasing to God.”

Maintaining a pure, God-pleasing lifestyle in our sinful world is tough. Kids are tempted to enjoy immediate pleasure rather than wait for long-term rewards. As parents, you play a vital role in your teenagers’ moral decision-making. Not only do kids look to you as examples, but they want you to listen and be available to talk. Surveys show that kids crave moral information from their parents. Research also shows that kids whose parents had talked with them about tough topics were more likely to turn to their parents first in difficult situations.

Kids crave control over their lives, and the quest for purity is one area they can control. It’s also an area where kids can assert their individuality, think for themselves, and not follow the crowd. So encourage your teenagers to make a commitment to a morally pure lifestyle. Even if you don’t give them a purity ring, you can let them know that Jesus, who died to make them pure, expects sexual integrity from his children. Just as importantly, when we mess up, Jesus offers forgiveness and the chance to renew our commitment to live for him.


Contrary to what’s seen in the media, not all teenagers engage in premarital sex. Consider these stats from a variety of online sources:

·More than half (52%) of high school students have never had sexual intercourse. ·87% of teenagers don’t think it’s embarrassing for kids to say they’re virgins. ·Of teenagers who have had sexual intercourse, 63% say they wish they had waited. ·82% of teenagers desire to have one marriage partner for life. ·When the Barna Group asked 1,000 U.S. parents about the most important outcomes of raising their kids, the top answer (39%) was “getting a good education.” Only 4% answered “helping to establish appropriate moral values.”

Great Questions to Ask Your Kids Use these discussion starters to help kids open up about purity and sex:

1. What comes to mind when you hear the word “purity”? What are some ways, besides sexual abstinence, that people can stay pure?
2. How much control do you have over your own purity?
3. What are the biggest temptations that can thwart a pure lifestyle? What are some ways to resist them?
4. How do you think God views sex? How does your view compare to God’s?
5. What are the pros and cons of making a public commitment to purity? Do you want to take that step? Why or why not?